Day After
I haven't slept well for 2 nights in a row because of this, and I've been emotionally drained. When I went to work this morning, as soon as I got in, all I could do was cry - it was too much. I emailed my boss and HR to tell them about CP's continued attempts to talk to me, and my boss called me in. He told me they'd talk to him, but basically, there was nothing else they could do. This I completely understand. However, that was one of the things I was concerned about in the first place. The company can easily fire someone for their behavior. However, when a person is out of line both at work and outside of work, firing the person can make the situation worse, since now they're also unhappy with you since it's "your" fault they got fired. Argh. Luckily, I haven't heard from him in more than 18 hours, so I'm hoping this is the end of it.
Another issue I've had is being told I should have reported the behavior earlier. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done. When you're being harassed, you're scared of the person's reaction, and you're scared of how the people you tell will take it. How a company *should* respond and how a company *does* respond can be 2 different things, and, frankly, I didn't say anything earlier because I was even more uncomfortable coming forward than I was being harassed, and people haven't acknowledged this possibility. I don't remember it being covered during orientation and, quite frankly, when you're interning at a corporation you hope to at least have some ties with in the future, accusing someone of harassment is definitely not the way to get on their good side.
My boss saw how upset I was and accurately guessed I wasn't going to get any work done, so he sent me home after we talked. I came back and slept after I managed to calm down. I'd been under more pressure and stress about this than I realized, so it was nice to come back and just relax. I'm still exhausted, but I hope after a good night's rest tonight I'll feel better.
Another issue I've had is being told I should have reported the behavior earlier. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done. When you're being harassed, you're scared of the person's reaction, and you're scared of how the people you tell will take it. How a company *should* respond and how a company *does* respond can be 2 different things, and, frankly, I didn't say anything earlier because I was even more uncomfortable coming forward than I was being harassed, and people haven't acknowledged this possibility. I don't remember it being covered during orientation and, quite frankly, when you're interning at a corporation you hope to at least have some ties with in the future, accusing someone of harassment is definitely not the way to get on their good side.
My boss saw how upset I was and accurately guessed I wasn't going to get any work done, so he sent me home after we talked. I came back and slept after I managed to calm down. I'd been under more pressure and stress about this than I realized, so it was nice to come back and just relax. I'm still exhausted, but I hope after a good night's rest tonight I'll feel better.
posted by Random Questioner at
4:41 PM
2 Comments:
Oh Random, I'm so so sorry about all of this. Your dumb boss for making you feel guilty about this, and your dumb HR department. Hah, nothing more they can do. They can call the cops, that's what they can do. And support you in doing whatever you need to be able to sleep at night.
I hope you do get some sleep tonight. My mom says everything's worse at night, because you're so tired and less able to deal... hope tomorrow you feel more able to cope....
By
skookumchick, at 9:31 PM
S, thanks for the support. I'm feeling better today. I was able to get work done and haven't heard from CP for 4 days, so that's good. I also got to talk to my second line manager, who had been on vacation. She's also an American woman, and she sympathized and empathized, since she has also been harassed at work (by a subordinate who knew her husband!). She said some people can't believe it has happened to her - she's highly successful and well respected - but I definitely do.
She said she's glad I was comfortable enough to come forward, but is incredibly sad it happened. Her suggestion for dealing with it is to use the line: "This is inappropriate for work." I like the suggestion since it makes me seem less vulnerable than "You're making me uncomfortable," but could still help make them stop. Let's hope I won't have to use it...
By
Random Questioner, at 12:13 AM
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