Doctor, Doctor Give Me the News

Alas, my headaches are not from a bad case of lovin' you. Though I've read that lovin' can be a trigger for some people...

Anyway, the doctor thinks my headaches are estrogen-related and thus may be aggravated by one of my medicines. I'm supposed to keep a headache diary to track them and re-evaluate them with her at some point. Otherwise, she suggests taking medicine at the first sign of a headache since taking meds once one has kicked in doesn't help as much. Unfortunately, I feel somewhat headache-y more frequently than I get full-blown headaches, so I won't take her advice until the headache has been present for more than 10-20 minutes.

Luckily, headaches haven't been bothering me as much this week and I have more energy, so maybe I can get some more work done.

In other important news, my cat now has a webpage that is linked off my school page. :)

RFC: Does little Miss Kitten need her own blog too?

Awww, how cute

Baby's first migraine. Wait. Not cute. At all. Oh. my. god. It was awful. The pain itself wasn't that bad - I've had much worse headaches - but the sensitivity to light and sound was a real killer. I had to wrap a pair of fleece pajamas around my eyes (hey, I was desperate and didn't want to move too far) and hide under the covers. The sound of the cracker wrapper and people walking on hard wood floors made me want to vomit. Luckily, there was no puke-age, but there was plent of misery.

It was on Monday and today's the first day I haven't had a headache yet (though it is only 2pm). I didn't come in to work on Monday or the first half of Tuesday. I still don't feel quite right, but I'm feeling better. And I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow since it was my worst headache ever and you're supposed to be concerned about that. I wasn't sure what to do, so I spoke to a nurse at my clinic (I was there anyway to pick up my asthma meds). Apparently getting 3-5 headaches per month isn't normal either. Huh. Who'd 'a' thunk it?

The thing is, Western medicine really needs to get its act together: it has no idea what to do when someone is having mental issues or chronic pain. I'd have gone to my doc earlier about my headaches except most of the time the answer is, "Well, we don't really know what causes it, so all you can really do is monitor it and treat your body properly." Thanks. (Okay, that's the response for me being tired a lot, and from what I've been reading, the response is pretty much the same for headaches). And, really, that's probably the best I can hope for tomorrow. (I will not consider the possibility of some horrible reason for the headaches, since I won't let myself worry about that until there's proof).

I know, I know. There are all sort of new migraine drugs. But, most likely that won't help since that's normally not what I get. (That might not be entirely accurate - most of my headaches are at the front of my head - above and behind the eyes, in the teeth, bridge of nose, etc - where sinus headaches occur, but I don't have a sinus infection. And some studies have been coming out saying that 90% of self-diagnosed sinus headaches are actually migraines, but those headaches are very different from what I had on Monday). Did I mention that these 3-5 headaches per month are often not helped with OTC drugs, so I normally don't even bother taking them (so are not rebound headaches). And the advisor wonders why I don't get much work done!

Well, I'll try to be positive. Maybe the doctor can find something that'll help me tomorrow. Shouldn't hurt to try...

Dentistry

Is is just me, or does going to the dentist remind you of Medieval times? We can split an atom, but we can't come up with a better way of cleaning teeth than with the good ol' pointy metal instruments? If biology and dentistry were my thing, I'd definitely be researching dissolving plaque without hurting enamel. Whichever company figures it out is going to make a lot of money.

Huh?!

Okay. So Bush's "justification" for putting wiretaps on US citizens within the US is essentially that, as commander in chief of the armed forces, he has that power. Perhaps I have forgotten my civics lessons, but the job of the president is to uphold/ enforce the law and command the armed forces. If he wanted to wiretap the people in the armed forces (over whom he has Constitutional control), go for it. But not all Americans are in the armed forces and, thus, he is not their commander in chief. Instead, his job over these people is to uphold the law, which includes FISA, which says that if you want to spy on US citizens in the US, you have to have a warrant or get one from a special court within a few days. Now, this court is stacked with judges who will allow the wiretaps - very few requests have been denied - so why the hell can't he go there? Is the evidence *that* flimsy? Or does he just not care, and honestly thinks he has the power to do whatever he wants, as long as he can kind of justify it as being part of the "war on terror"? Sadly, I think it's the latter, since I've read that he has some ridiculous "unitary executive theory" of presidential power (for more, see www.tomdispatch.com/index.mhtml?pid=50038). At least I can say I've never voted for that monkey.

Pot, Meet Kettle

My department has not one, not two, but three different "clubs" you can join - water (for reverse-osmosis, filtered water), coffee (good beans with a nice Espresso/ frother/ coffee machine) and popcorn (air-popped). Every semester the Coffee Czar sends out an email with an ASCII caffeine molecule and a note inviting people to join the coffee club.

The Water Czar is new, and came out because the new coffee machine needed softer water. But joining the Water Club is $5, while the Coffee Club is $25ish - awfully expensive if you just want better water for drinking or making tea. The Water Czar just sent out an email inviting new people to join and included what should have been an ASCII water molecule, but which was accidentally the non-existent H02 molecule. One of the professors replied to all with an email saying, "Good thing we are doing [our field] and not chemistry!"

The thing is, this is the same professor who, last month, on a rather inclement day, caused a fire alarm to go off because he burned popcorn in the microwave (hence, the impetus for the popcorn club - which he still hasn't joined). I was tempted to respond to that email with "Good thing we are doing [our field] and not popping popcorn!" Since I (clearly) lack the balls to do that, I just sent the response to the Water Czar (who is my friend) and a few of my other friends, though we wish we could respond to the list...

Oh, and after burning the popcorn and sending everyone outside, the professor was seen re-entering the building with some fresh popcorn from a nearby business. I guess he was really jonesing for that popcorn.

Bigamy?

I saw a license plate the other day that was:
MR & MRSS

So are they Mr & Mrs S, or is the second S on the Mrs to show there are 2 Mrs... Hmmm.

Which reminds me of another license plate I used to see around town: NutZak. Now, I know his explanation must have been, "Well, my name's Zak, and I'm a littly nutty." But you know he pulled a fast one with that. Just say it fast enough, or change the Z to an S, and what does *that* sound like? But I guess people at the DMV really aren't paid enough to care.

Though my favorite license plate, which I've only heard about, was a Florida one (automatically generated) that was A55 RGY. But that was when Florida's license plates had a big orange in the middle, which made is look more like A55ORGY. Someone complained and the plate was reissued. Makes me smile every time.

I am so easy

One of my resolutions was to start posting more reviews on Amazon. I feel like I've been a taker for too long, since I often check the reviews before I purchase almost anything, and I'd never actually returned the favor.

I've done reviews for 2 books thus far. One of the books was awful, and I said so in my review (I couldn't finish it, and I was one of those people that managed to read every assigned novel in school). Nobody has commented on it yet to tell whether or not it's helpful, but if I saw someone picking up the book at the book store, that's the exact advice I'd tell them. However, on the other review, which I posted yesterday, 1 of 1 people said it was helpful, and that cheered up my day. :)

Winter blues

Today is one of those blah winter days. It's colder than forecasted and feels colder than that. And it's cloudy and kind of foggy. Ugh. Boy has suggested that I get a glorious sun lamp. The problems are: a) How do you pick one out? and b) Damn, those things are expensive! But maybe I'll get one. Especially since, if I stay with Boy, I'll probably end up far from Home. Even if I don't, most good smaller schools tend to be on the East Coast. :(

Of course, that assumes I ever make it out of grad school. I'm having a "I'm never going to make progress!!!" day. I'm planning to go work out this afternoon at one the school's aerobics classes, so that'll probably put me in a better mood. The instructor is nuts but at least you get a good workout (she, her brother and her father once had a push-up contest on the beach in her native Costa Rica. Why, God, why?!).

Plus, transitioning to getting to school earlier is really hard for me. I've ended up taking 20-minute naps in my office both days this week since I've been so tired. And I have a headache. And it's not like I've been going to sleep late - my body just far prefers 9-10 hours of sleep, and the 8.25-8.5 I've been getting just isn't quite enough.

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow at 10:15, but I don't actually mind since then I'll probably get a little more sleep. How sad.

Lest you, poor reader, despair, my life isn't all complaints. I had a good weekend (though, as always, it was too short) and I've been reading some thoroughly enjoyable (though not exactly high-brow) books. And dinner last night was just what the doctor ordered - milk shake + bacon, potato and egg fritatta. De-lish.

Boy's advisor told him that if he can get 1 of the 2 main things in his thesis proposal working, that'd be enough for a PhD. I feel really happy for him, but it's kind of hard to see others with successful careers when I feel kind of like a grad school failure. He likes it a lot more than I do (given the choice, he'd only research and write papers), but I think that I'd be happier if I could see some more glimmers of progress in my own work. A wise man once told me "Nothing is more intoxicating than success" and since I haven't had much of that in school lately, well, let's just say I'm stone-cold sober. I try to comfort myself with the notion that it's okay, since I just want to go to a smaller school, teach, and work on diversity issues, but I'm just not buying it. Maybe I should be getting a PhD in education. They only take like 3-4 years here, though they might actually require some experience.

Where are you, Sun?

I asked one of my Indian research mates if he'd heard the Indian maxim from the previous post, and he had. He said that attitude is more prevalent in the rural areas and should get better as more of the country becomes middle class. But I'd kind of been hoping that it was actually more of an urban legend of a saying, and not one that people actually use.

On the upside, my cake tasted fine, including the frosting. I guess it just needed to be chilled because it didn't taste as grainy last night as when I first made it. Yay! Two people even asked for the recipe. Mmm. Chocolate sheath cake.

I had a meeting with the advisor today. It went okay. He seemed pretty down in general. :( (He told me I shouldn't take it personally, but I still feel sorry for him). And what he thinks I should be working on isn't that easy. I'm more in a coding and debugging mood than a thinking mood, and what I need to work on is going to take some flashes of insight. My slight headache doesn't help...

Blah

"Grooming a girl is like watering a neighbor's garden."
A number of news articles include this "Indian maxim" when describing why female fetuses and babies are killed at a higher rate than boy babies and fetuses. Only one word to describe that: classy.

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So I told one of my friends I'd make her a birthday cake, since today is her birthday (we're celebrating tomorrow). Normally for me, baking is kind of soothing. Well, not tonight. I decided to make a chocolate sheet/ sheath cake because they're a) delicious and b) feed a lot of people. Everything was going well until I baked it. My oven is not big enough to fit a jelly roll pan (cookie sheet with sides) width-wise, so I put it in length-wise. But, the oven racks are raised. I hoped the pan wasn't full enough that cake would spill, but it did. And the cake came out about 4 times taller on one end than the other. :( I called my mom for support and guidance, and we decided just to cut the cake in half and make it 2 layers. This works okay, but the cake isn't pretty, which makes me very sad. And then the icing didn't come out quite right either. The cake will still be delicious, but it's not as good as it can be, and baking is one of the few areas of my life I feel like I have enough control over to make it good, so I'm pretty disappointed. And I have to clean my oven now! Oh well. At least it'll be tasty...

Complaints (in the form of questions!)

1) Why do airlines make traveling with a pet such a pain? To begin with, it costs $80, and the animal replaces your carry-on (which is normally free). Plus, a standard carry-on can weighs 25 lbs, but an animal should only weigh 15. So the airline gets $80 and an extra 10 lbs for cargo, straight to their (mismanaged) pockets. And then the gate agent on Thursday wouldn't even let me pre-board! "Just because you have a cat doesn't mean you can get on early." You're right, but paying an extra $80 (more than an upgrade to 1st class at check-in), should allow me some privileges - especially since it means less inconvenience for everyone. Argh. Bitch. But I wrote the airline and complained. Not that they really cared, but I was pretty steamed.

2) Why must recipes debase chocolate by including coffee? A friend's birthday is tomorrow, and I'm planning on making her a birthday cake (since all birthdays should have cakes), so I've been cruising the 'net looking for chocolate cake recipes. And so many of the recipes include coffee!! Coffee, of all things. Everyone with a brain knows that the only way to make chocolate better is to add more chocolate and sugar. Maybe some cream. What are these people thinking?!

Yay!

KateMonster's surgery went well. I saw her in the hospital. She was aware and in good spirits, which is the best you can ask for. And, now that she's the bionic woman, she won't have to worry so much about, you know, dropping dead of cardiac arrest.

The other event (which is quite insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but is fun nonetheless) also went quite nicely. :)

I also spoke with my Advisor on the phone. The conversation went well. He had an idea for how I should re-approach the problem (I feel like I'm going around in circles sometimes), so I'll try to think about that on the plane tomorrow.

So, all in all, it was a good day. I feel much less anxious about going back, and I am looking forward to being back at my own place. And, of course, of seeing my Boy. Now if only I could get all those books I'm lugging back to magically get smaller and lighter in my suitcase...

Apprehension

I'm starting to get nervous about heading back up to school. I feel like I'm always nervous before I go away. I feel like I should always be working, even though I know that would literally drive my insane. Grad school has a lot of flexibility, but there are also a lot of unspoken expectations, which makes it difficult.

I've enjoyed my sojourn here. It's always nice to be home and taken care of, but now I'm afraid I've annoyed/ disappointed the advisor by being gone so long. I would have preferred a shorter stay, but it was the difference between a $500 ticket and my dad being able to get me one with frequent flier miles. I chose the latter, but that doesn't stop my from feeling guilty.

Luckily, I have done some work while I've been gone, and have an idea to work on. My work is still not going as smoothly as I'd like, but that seems to be the story of my life. Or at least my life in grad school. Sigh.

Tomorrow's also a big day. One for a silly reason (that really won't effect much of anything), and the other because KateMonster is going to have her gigantic heart enhanced with an ICD.

Happy New Year!

It's January 1, which means the start of a new year. Though I guess you can say every day is the start of a new year, if you really wanted. Anyway, here's hoping this year will be better than the last - even if last year was good. :)

My last year had its ups and downs, but overall I think it was a good year. I feel like I'm a little bit closer to getting my PhD, though we'll see. I should prelim sometime this semester (or summer) so that I can officially become a Dissertator (kind of like the Terminator, but not). Let's hope.

I head back up to my school apartment on Thursday. This trip has been nice - I've gotten to see some family and friends - but it'll be nice to get back to the Boy and my own place. My resolution is to get to school earlier (9:30ish - I know, I'm a horrible, horrible grad student since I normally get to school between 10 and 11 (though that's what happens when you're a night person who does best with 9-10 hours of sleep!)) and to up my exercise to 4 times a week. We'll see. Even if I can get it to 3, that'd be nice. I did a pretty good job of going twice a week this past semester, but I'd like to go more, especially since winter is not the best season for me.